We’ve all seen that animal patterned Valley Girl stereotype before. You know, the one with the too-short denim miniskirt, with the fake cheetah skin vest, leopard spotted head band, and zebra striped pumps. Oy vey! We look away in horror lest our own eyes melt down our cheeks. But the truth is: This fashion train wreck involving animal print clothes happens a lot more often than we think, and if we’re not careful we might be next!
With misguided Valley girls like that out there, one can’t be blamed for avoiding animal print fashion. However, we would argue that this is over-learning the lesson of the bad fashion, and is way so risk adverse that it actually hurts your style. Don’t be a conservative reactionary – be a trend setter. Go forth and buy funky zebra print heels, but always pair them with something more conservative. This will allow you to remain cool, yet still get noticed (in a good way). Heed the following advice and you can avoid becoming one of the unfortunately uninformed fashion-less hordes:
- Never mix and match different animal prints (zebra + cheetah, leopard + alligator skin). You get the point.
- One piece of animal patterned clothing/accessory is just fine, thank you.
- Avoid going too wild, unless you are experienced in the realm of pushing the fashion envelope.
- Try pairing the zebra print heels with jeans and an understated shirt.
- Already have animal print shoes on? Put the hoop earrings down.
- Pair accordingly. Disco pumps and Burberry do not mix.
- Take off your socks.
- Cut that mullet… and save the big hair for another day. Lest you really want to look like a wild animal.
- Here’s some fashion math for you: zebra heels + too-short skirt = cougar (only do it, if that’s the look you’re going for)
- Be confident! You wear the clothes, not the other way around.
Alright, well that concludes today’s lesson, class. Now get back to your Jersey Shore re-runs. When you’re finished, come back and fill in comments below with some egregious violations of the fashion code that you’ve had the misfortune of witnessing.
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